I like the example you gave with the wii and spending too much time on video games because I used to do the same thing.
I liked your essay because the topic is something that most kids don't realize and a lot of kids take things for granted.
I used to do the same thing. My mom did the same thing too. So I had a good connection to your story.
I liked your story about spending to much time on the wii because I think a lot of people including me can relate to it.
I like your story how you told your own stories and made that connection. But I had a connection to your story too
Liked how the paper was short easy to read and relate to. Also how it was very intriguing
Your really told a story that applies o me because i take a lot of things for granted.